Why do we feel Insecure?
Read about the reasons behind insecurity & how we can cope with it
We are called a narcissistic generation. We are told that technology and social media are giving us an inflated sense of self. But most of us don’t walk around feeling like we are all that great. In fact, there is one underlying emotion that overwhelmingly shapes our self-image and influences our behavior, and that is insecurity.
Insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy (not being good enough) and uncertainty. It produces anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations.
What causes Insecurity?
Everybody deals with insecurity from time to time. Insecurities are related to standards set by the people we interact with, such as our family, friends, and peers, and societal expectations that may be legitimate or perceived. Insecurities develop when we compare ourselves to others and feel less than. They occur when we experience a consequence for being different from others in a perceived negative way or when we feel we do not measure up to where we “should” be. Insecurities are brought on when we recognize differences between ourselves and others, either on our own or through someone else pointing them out. For example, a child who is teased on the playground at school for being in a larger body than their peers may come to feel insecure about their weight and body.
What can we do about it?
Forgive the past. If your insecurities have been shaped by a relative or authority figure criticizing you, recognize this. Then start to forgive them. Understand that they were driven by their own insecurities, struggling with their own demons. They behave imperfectly, but we all do. They weren’t right in what they did, but you can understand it nonetheless. And forgive them for their bad behavior, because holding on to resentment isn’t helping you. Let the past go, one step at a time.
Accept all of yourself. Pause and take a self-assessment. Notice the parts of yourself, both your body and your inner self, that you don’t like. Take a look at these parts of you, and see if you can send them love. See them for the imperfect parts of you that they are, deserving of love as a friend who is imperfect also deserves love. Think about how you’d treat this imperfect friend, and be the same way toward yourself. Give yourself assurance, give yourself compassion. Embrace all the parts of you and see the beauty in them. They are what make you who you are, and they are wonderful.
Practice self-approval. If you notice yourself wanting someone else’s approval, their praise and attention, their likes and retweets … pause, and instead replace that with self-approval. You can take away the power of others to approve you if you appropriate that power for yourself. You don’t need anyone else’s approval but your own. That doesn’t mean you don’t want a connection with others or love, but you can love others and be loved by them while also being self-approved. Accept yourself, completely, love yourself. And that’s all you need.
Embrace non-comparison. Comparison of yourself with how others look, what they’re doing, where they’re traveling, how much fun they’re having … it’s never a useful comparison, and it actively harms you. Instead, when you see someone else, instead of comparing yourself with them, see them as apples to your oranges. Be happy that they’re having fun, be joyful for their successes. They’re on a completely different path from you, and they can be happy and have a great time and you can too, on your own path. Wish everyone well, but see their awesomeness as different from yours.
You are “Enough” the way you are!
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Disclaimer- This article has been written by referencing other similar articles, we don’t take responsibility for the claims made in it.